Entertainment R US
by Inutori
Summary: AU- Inuyasha is the host of a children's show that Shippou is obsessed with. Being a hater of children, it only seems inevitable that his career will be ruined by Shippou and his mother. R&R, Please -ON HOLD-
1. Entertainment R Us

**Inutori:** I'm putting up a new story due to the fact that I just watched an oh-so-inspiring, annoying group of people sing to a bunch of kids on TV.  Some of might have heard of them, they're called the wiggles.  I had to contain myself from running away screaming, but then an idea for an Inuyasha AU fic popped into my head, so here it is.

**Inuyasha:** I hate kids.

**Sango:** You know, Inuyasha, some of us don't care what you think.

**Inuyasha:** I care, woman.

**Kagome:** Sango-chan said some of us, not necessarily all of us.  Of course you care about your own opinions, if you didn't, then I'd be seriously scared.

**Inutori:** *cough* Well, I don't own Inuyasha, and unless you are THE Rumiko Takahashi, you don't either.  So go read my story and don't even THINK about suing.  And review for me! 

Chapter 1

Entertainment R Us

_"Hey there kids, guess what time it is?"  The silver-haired man smiled at the group of children brightly, crouching down slightly._

_"It's Inuyasha time!"  The group of four and five-year-olds responded cheerfully to the golden-eyed man._

_"That's right, and can you tell me what we're going to do today?"  His smile didn't falter as he looked to each of the children._

_"Go to feudal Japan!"  All of the happy smiles that met him were bright and happy as they clapped their hands and jumped up and down._

_"That's right, now, let's all jump thru the magic well!"  The man with dog-like ears perched on top of his head grabbed the hands of the two children nearest him and they jumped into a well that was in the room._

Shippou giggled and clapped as the TV screen turned swirls of blue before the picture reappeared to reveal Inuyasha and the group of children in a forest.

"Mama!  Look, it's Miroku-chan!"  The brown-haired boy smiled back at his mother as a man with black hair tied back in a ponytail came onto the screen.  Purple and black priest robes covered the man and he carried with him a monk's staff.

_"Hey kids, look, it's a monk!"  The silver-haired man was now wearing a haori that went with the era and had a sword tied to his side._

_"Ah, hello there, young ones, I am the monk called Miroku, is there anything I can do to be of service?"  The man bowed and smiled at each of the children._

_"I am Inuyasha and we're from the future.  Could you give us a tour of Japan?"  The golden-eyed man looked at all of the children._

"Shippou, we need to stop the tape, it's time for bed."  A woman with long, ebony hair bent down and pressed the stop button on the VCR, turning to look at her young son.

"But mama, I'm not tired."  Shippou pouted at his mother as she picked him up and began to carry him upstairs to his bed.

"It doesn't matter if you're not tired, it's already an hour past your bedtime.  Inuyasha can wait until morning."  

"But mama-"

"No buts, hun, I said it's time for bed, and that's that."  The blue-eyed woman swept her free hand down Shippou's nose and set him gently in his bed.  "Now time to go to sleep."

"Sing me a song, mommy."

"Alright."  The young woman smiled gently at the boy as she tucked him in.  

"Skitters 'n' a hummin' 'n' a honeysuckle bun,

Bubble 'n' contidin' to her lil' foxy love

You is mighty lucky, babe of all Kentucky,

Close your eyes, and sle~e~ep.

Fly away.  Fly away Kentucky babe,

Fly away to rest, oo~oo~oo,

Close your eyes, and sleep."

Her soft voice drifted off into silence as Shippou's breathing slowed down and his body went limp.  Smiling down at her son, the gentle woman stood and walked slowly to the door, turning off the light and looking back to gaze at her son.

Taking in a deep breath, the woman walked out into the hallway and back down the stairs.  She entered the kitchen and picked up a picture sitting on the counter and looked at it mournfully.  It was a picture of her lying in a hospital bed holding her newborn son, standing next to her was her mother, and on the other side was her twelve-year-old brother as well as her grandfather.

Feeling the tears welling up inside her, she set the picture back down and went to the sink where she began to do the dishes.  Glancing at the kitchen table, the young mother saw the stack of unopened mail cluttered across it.

Sighing in resignation, she walked over and sat down in one of the chairs by the small piece of furniture.  Most of it was fan mail.  She got so much of it even though she hadn't performed in years.  One letter in particular caught her eye.  It was addressed to her son.  Why was he getting mail?  He was only five.  Opening it, she read:

_Mr. Shippou Higurashi:_

_   In response to your phone call we would like to offer you the opportunity for you and your child to come to Shikon Production Studios and spend two weeks with the cast of the children's hit, INUYASHA.  There your child will be able to interact with his/her favorite TV star as well as have the chance to appear on the show with your approval.  We would be honored to have you here on your child's birthday and I'm sure you're aware that we absolutely adore children._

_   The trip will be an all-expense-paid vacation for you and your child and you will be staying with the cast of the children's show.  Please call 1-873-972-0016 with your response no later than June 1, 2024.  The trip will be scheduled to begin at the earliest June 14 and end no later than July 31.  _

_Sincerely,_

Myoga F. Damon 

Director, Production Manager

"Well, this is…interesting."  Kagome blinked a few times and read over the letter again, trying to see if she had just been imagining things.  No, it really was an invitation to spend a part of the summer with the Inuyasha cast.  'I really need to monitor Shippou's behavior more closely.' 

She laughed lightly to herself with the knowledge of how smart her young son was.  Kagome couldn't really be _mad_ at Shippou; it was actually really cute that he went all the way as to call the Studio to ask to see the cast.

Glancing at the calendar, Kagome made note that it was already May 20th.  Well, that meant she has a week and a half to think things through before actually deciding whether she and Shippou would go or not.  'Wait, I'm actually considering doing this?  That is insane.  Oh well, Shippou would love it.'

*

Inuyasha prowled around the studio with a scowl on his face.  Kikyou had just up and told him that she was breaking it off and moving Okinawa to marry some guy.  What was his name?  Naraki?  Noraku?  It didn't matter that much; except for the fact that Kikyou was the reason he did this stupid kid's show in the first place.  Now that she was gone, he had absolutely no reason to continue working with the stupid brats.

A phone rang next to him and Inuyasha had to resist the urge to slam his fist down and pulverize the idiotic thing.  It rang thrice before Inuyasha finally gave up the hope that someone was actually going to answer it, so he snatched up the phone and barked into it, releasing some of his pent up anger.

His swearing and fowl words made him feel better temporarily and the timid voice that answered him made his ego boost even more at the fact that the person was intimidated.

"Um, is Mr. Myoga Damon available?"  It was a soft, feminine voice and Inuyasha thought for sure he had heard it somewhere before.

His growl answered her and he could just imagine whomever it was cowering in fear.  "How should I know where the old geezer is?"

"Listen here, I didn't do anything to you, so I'd appreciate it if you stopped yelling in my ear like I just ripped off your ears or something."  The voice on the other end of the line suddenly became stronger and Inuyasha wondered how that was.

"Inuyasha-sama, who's on the phone?"

Inuyasha turned to scowl at the short old man that was the director of the show he starred in.  "Like I know, the wench wants to talk to you."  He thrust the receiver at Myoga and stormed off, anger starting to boil even more than before.  He stopped while still within hearing distance of the old man.

"Ms. Higurashi, is it?…Ah yes, I did send that, didn't I?…Really?  How adorable…Of course the offer is still there…Yes…Yes…No…Really?  I'm sorry about him, he must be having a bad day…That was Inuyasha…Oh, don't I know it…Of course I'll talk to him…So, back to the issue at hand, when can I expect you here?…the 14th?  OK.  And how long do you plan on staying?…Yeah, of course you can stay longer…that'd be wonderful…so, I'll be seeing you in 2 weeks?…I could arrange for that…In two weeks then."

Myoga hung up the phone and looked around, catching sight of Inuyasha's hair between two stacks of boxes.  "Inuyasha-sama, the young lady I was just talking to said that for the host of a children's show, you have quite the…extensive…vocabulary.  She asked me to tell you that you may look cute in the show, but you're nothing but an egotistic jerk."  The old man smiled slightly.  "And to think that she learned all that without even meeting you, quite the perceptive gal, I must say."

Inuyasha growled slightly at all the insults being thrown at him.  As if he hadn't heard those words a thousand times before, it was nothing new.  But what was happening in two weeks that some wench would be coming here?

~

**Inuyasha:** As I said, I hate children.

**Kagome:** You just be nice and I won't sit you.  *Inuyasha crashes into ground*  Whoops, gomen ne!

**Inuyasha:** Keh, wench, you did that on purpose.

**Inutori:** Inuyasha, put away Tetsusaiga this instant.  You can't be killing your love this early in the story.

**Kagome:** And he's going to kill me later?

**Inutori:** HA!  You openly admitted to being his love!

**Kagome:** *bright red* You tricked me!  What was I supposed to say?

**Inutori:** …

**Kagome:** So there!

**Inutori:** Well enough of this rambling, *looks at readers* go review and tell me what you think!


	2. Behind the Scenes

**Inutori:** **_Random fact:_** Did you know that originally I hadn't planned on naming this fic Entertainment R Us?  I was going to call it Inuyasha: The TV Show.  It's actually still saved in the folder on my computer named as such.  But I think the other title worked out better, don't you?

**Sagi:** Inutori, have you seen Virgo around here?

**Inutori:** *looks at her reviewer (aka Sagi)* How'd you get here?

**Sagi:** Jellyfish let me in.  Have you seen Virgo?

**Gem:** I did not let her in!  Get back here, you twerp!  *runs after Sagi*

**Inutori:** *sweat-drops*  That was Gemini, my alter-ego, and Sagittarius.

**Inuyasha:** What are they doing here?

**Kagome:** They don't belong here.

**Inutori:** Speaking of not belonging, I don't own any ideas or characters affiliated with the actual show, Inuyasha.

**Sagi:** *skipping across back of room with big fluffy object in tow*  I got Sesshy's boa!  I got Sesshy's boa!

**Sesshoumaru:** Get back here, human brat!

**Gem:** Saggy!  If you don't get out of here right now, I'll never let you see Virgo again!

**Sagi:** I ain't human, so you're obviously not talking to me!

**Inutori:** But you DID respond to him, so you knew he was talking to you.

**Sagi:** …

Chapter 2

Behind the Scenes

Kagome packed the last of their luggage into the back of her jeep and closed it.  Smiling brightly at Shippou, she walked back into the house to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.  Nothing stood out to her that it was being left behind, so the raven-haired woman shrugged and walked back outside to join her son in the car.

"Shippou, you ready to go?"  She looked in the rearview mirror at her son buckled in behind her.

"Hai, okaa-san!"  Shippou smiled brightly at her as the car started and began moving away from the humble shrine.

The road trip was uneventful as they made their way away from Tokyo and headed south to the country.  Shippou had fallen asleep within the first five minutes of the trip, quietly strangling a stuffed dog to his chest.

This left Kagome to her own thoughts.  Life had been peaceful these last few years after settling down.  There was the one chaotic year in her life where she had been a pop singer, but that had ended abruptly by some unexpected events.  Then she had Shippou, and shortly thereafter her family was hit by a drunk driver and drowned in a river.

Things had actually fallen into a droning routine from day to day, week to week.  This vacation would be a nice change for the small family that now occupied the vehicle.

After a few hours, the filming studios came into view, and with it, a beautiful lush forest and mirror-like lake.  The sight was a relief to Kagome's tired eyes and she found herself smiling slightly and glancing back at her young son.

*

A loud banging woke Inuyasha from his sleep and he glared at the door like it was the cause of all of his problems.  An aggravated voice followed and Inuyasha found himself scowling even more at the man who dare disturb his slumber.

"Inuyasha, get your butt out here this instant!  Myoga-jiji wants us all in the main studio in five minutes!  Matte…make that three minutes!"

"Shut up, bozou!  Can't a star get some meditation time or somethin'?"  Inuyasha flopped back down onto his soft bed in protest to the annoying pounding at his door.  He began to grumble about his contract with the studio and how he would rip it to shreds if he ever got a hold of it.

"Come on Inuyasha, you've been in there since Friday!  Your breakup couldn't have been THAT bad."  There was a pause as the man outside took a breath, hoping for a response from the star of the hit children's show.  "Besides, she dumped like what?  Two weeks ago, now?"

The door flung open, allowing Inuyasha to glare at Miroku, who stood impatiently outside his dressing room.  "Shut it, furyou houshi.  I'm up already."

"Good, now let's get down to the studio."  Miroku turned away from Inuyasha and picked up a fast walk down the hall, speedily escaping the silver-haired actor.

With a growl, Inuyasha followed after, knowing that he would be in major trouble if he just went back into his room again.

"Ah, Inuyasha-sama, so nice to see you among the living!"  Myoga smiled at him from his director's chair and stood up quickly; at least, quickly for a man of his age and weight.

"Keh."  Inuyasha pointedly looked away, not really caring about the other people in the room.  He was halfway tempted to just turn back and lock himself in his room again, but Myoga's words stopped him.

"Remember the phone call I received a couple weeks ago?"

Inuyasha turned around curiously, his ears perking up slightly.  

"Well, a young woman, a Miss Higurashi, will be arriving shortly with her son.  They will be staying at the studio for two or three weeks as our guests, and I want you to make them feel welcome.  Understood?"  

Inuyasha's eyes widened slightly, hoping beyond hope that he did not just hear what he thought he had heard.  He…would have to be nice…to some wench…and her brat…for almost a month…

"You'll do it, Inuyasha.  This will be good for publicity."  Myoga's demanding undertone shone in Inuyasha's sensitive ears, and he knew that there was no way of getting out of this now.  If only he had hung up on the wench when she had called instead of letting Myoga talk with her.

~

**Gem:** Sorry this wasn't as long as the first chapter…not NEARLY as long.  Just figured some story would be better than nothing since it has been ages since the last update.

**Sagi:** I've been distracting her.  ^_^

**Gem:** *glaring at Sagi*  Didn't I tell you NOT to have any sugar?  You're too bouncy as it is.

**Sagi:** Really?  I thought you said, "Be sure to eat sugar Sagi."  *imitating Gemini's glare*

**Gem:** I don't know you.  

**Sagi:** Well, me and the other readers better go review.

**Inutori:** *looking at the Sagi actually reading this on her computer*  That's right, Saggy, being part of my author's note DOES NOT exclude you from having to review for the next chapter.

**Sagi:** *pouting*  …poo…


End file.
